Friday, March 12, 2010

Day 129: becoming a bore.

So I know I've said before that drinking a shit-load and waking up with hangovers all the time is boring. And it is. But I am also aware that turning into a no fun, no treats, purity and mega-health bore isn't any cooler. You may have noticed of late (or maybe it's just been happening in my head) that I have been obsessing more and more over ridiculous food issues. The addition of the liver cleanse to my already restrictive lifestyle has muscled me into a corner where there is decidedly no party happening. I have progressed (regressed? totally freaked?) from thinking that alcohol is an absolute no-no, to putting lemonade, tonic water, chocolate, steak, cheese, eggs and even milk in the same category. Since when has skim milk on your organic muesli been evil? For a completely lactose tolerant individual, since never. It's almost like because avoiding alcohol has become second nature to me, I need a new restrictive challenge. Why don't I lighten the fuck up and stop being so wizened in my approach to my consumables? When there's no Friday night glass of red, surely there's got to be the leeway for chocolate gelato after dinner, or a freakin latte after your morning run that isn't derived from soybeans. I mean what kind of perfect weirdo am I actually trying to be? I am fit, looking leaner and better than I have in ages and feeling chipper pretty much every day. What do I gain from being purer, thinner, lighter, more virtuous? In fact, I think being ever more stringent in my healthy ways is actually detrimental. Is anyone else I know behaving like me right now? Absolutely frickin not. Do people like loony health nuts? Hell no! Is any of this helping me meet a nice boy? Enough said. And here I've gone and wasted another whole blog entry, ranting about healthy freaking whatever. I apologise. The boringness of it all freaks me out. Is this really what I have become (is it what I've always been?)? This needs a solution of the now variety. First, I'm not talking about food anymore. Second, I'm going to stick to basic principles of healthiness without being ridiculous on details (except for the detail of not drinking alcohol. That stays.). Third I'm going to remind myself that I'm meant to be focusing on music and not peripherals. And right now? I'm going to shut the fuck up.

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