Day 199: Big Scary are fucking amazing.

I apologise if swearing isn't on your list of things you find cute, because obviously I do swear quite a lot for no good reason. But today's f-word is entirely necessary, because Big Scary - the band I just saw - are really, truly fucking amazing. I think the two words that sprang to mind mid gig were "unbridled awesomeness". Big Scary were two exceptionally talented individuals letting their raw energy soar. A girl drummer, who was a storm of happy, wild, energetic pounding and exceptionally tight drumming magic (Like fucking wow. Seriously.), and a boy with an exceptional combination of cool, rarity, and just beauty in his pure musicality. Am I going to far? Maybe, but Big Scary were exciting. You know when you experience something and you get the feeling it was a bit of a lucky thing to have seen. This was like that. It was cool. It got me thinking about the specific magic of individual human beings. Because these two were so obviously just letting their absolute selves flow; they were being, being with energy, but being unadorned. And obviously they were blessed with some really special talent. But maybe some of that talent lies in the very act of trusting their own thing enough to put it out there unedited; maybe that act of trusting yourself is actually part of what makes you good. Food for thought as I set about forging my own new little musical path. Because even working out what is the authentic you is hard, let alone learning how to pump that authenticity out of your veins and into an audience. No one exists without outside influences. How do you work out which influences are clouding your genuine self, likes and urges in a musical sense? Is there even such a thing as a genuine self? Before I bamboozle myself with any more pseudo philosophical discussion, I should also mention that I think I may have entered a new phase of non-drinking where it bothers me absolutely nil. I hardly even register that I don't drink anymore. I just really enjoy water and the odd juice if I need some energy. And I can go out and dance like a freak and have a really fun time absolutely no sweat. It's great. Social non-drinking it seems, has turned from a big scary into a harmless tiddler.