Day 159: reflecting on humanity.

Events of the last few days have given me cause to ponder the state of my surrounding humans. After my Mother died, I discovered that the person who genuinely cares about others and who acts compassionately towards them on an ongoing basis is an extremely rare, perhaps even imaginary, individual. No matter what state of warranted distress you are in, people apparently can only manage to help you out or cut you any slack for a very limited period of time before they forget what you're going through and become demanding again. I particularly noticed it in the workplace. And at the time I accepted it as the way of the world and a lesson in toughening up. Yesterday I was reminded of people's enormous capacity to put their own needs before anyone else's, regardless of what hurt that might inflict. Again, it's one of the ways of the world. If you don't look after yourself, who will? But then again, if we don't look after each other, where will we be? From my recent experiences, I'm not sure humans are in the best place. Or is it that I'm not in the best place to find good humans? Is Sydney an emotional graveyard full of feeling-devoid zombies going greyly about their very important personal business? Are there other societies where being courteous and caring towards others is an expected minimum of respectful and respectable behaviour? Or is it simply that, as someone famous once said (oft quoted by my Mum), "there aren't very many good anythings in the world"? I've kind of been entertaining a private fantasy recently, that somewhere in the world there is a pocket of awesome people who just get it, people that not everyone would love but that I would, and it's just a matter of time before I find them and live happily ever after. Or maybe I just have to travel around slowly collecting the scattered people of quality and somehow gather them into one place. Hmm. Smacks of a cult. And I can't really be bothered forming one. For now then, I will continue to ponder, and try and remember to treat the good people I do know as I myself would like to be treated; with just the tiniest bit of caring consideration.