Day 158: party fail.

Warning: this entry may be offensive to some readers. It contains untempered judgements on people's coolness and quality of character. Read on at your own risk.

I'm not joking. I'm about to lay some shit down. Because last night's party revealed some things about much of the company I keep, my so-called friends and family. It's not easy to write because it also reveals things about me; how I feel about people I know and how they behave, but more painfully, how people evidently feel about me.

Last night's party was a fail, and for a number of reasons. First, it failed because the theme was too cool for most people. It's an ugly thing to say, but it's true. The small handful of people who came and actually appreciated, understood and embraced the theme, now occupy a special place in my universe reserved for pure quality. Brains, a finely tuned sense of humour and the good breeding to turn up to a party when you say you will; these are qualities I admire. Second, the party failed because people are shit. Because on this occasion, and possibly for the first time in my life, I am not prepared to take the blame for our party fizzing. And neither should my other hosts. We put on a top notch party. The music was cool, the house looked amazing, the food was good and there was lots of it, the vibe and lighting was mellow, welcoming and pleasant, and, I thought, the guest list was made up of fun, quality individuals. Even our costumes were perfect. I'm telling you, this was a totally rad party waiting to happen, only none of my fuck-wit friends or family had the decency to show up. Actually, before I really offend every living soul I know, some people and factors need to be acknowledged. Those people that did show up (including exactly one brother) are awesome. That goes without saying. And I believe they all had quite a pleasant time. Those that didn't come but let me know why before time, either by RSVPing to that effect or with a simple, courteous phone call or text are also blameless. They did the right thing. But those who allowed me to believe they were coming through all my preparations, even talking on many occasions about costumes and saying "See you on Saturday", but then saw fit to simply give it a miss without a whisper of "Sorry babe I won't be making it after all", are people I now don't know if I really count as my friends. At least not ones I could rely upon for anything more than an air kiss on the street which, forgive me, doesn't represent a whole heap of friendship value to my mind. Evidently though too, I don't represent much value as a human being to any of them either. Not enough to put their own needs aside, even for a few hours at what would have been a fun event only a few blocks away. So yes, people I thought liked me don't give a shit. I am hurt, disappointed and saddened that what should have been the party of the year wasn't, because the people I know just weren't up to the job. On the upside, I do now know who my true friends are, and who to bother helping out in future or inviting to my next better than average party. All the other lame-os can seriously, go jump.