Monday, September 27, 2010

Day 325: cool-fun times.

I know I am the master of all mood swings, but today I felt really positive and excited about the world, the future, and my place in both. I started the day by having good chats with both of my flatmates over breakfast and coffee, and generally feeling the sunshine and mild air on my skin. Sunshine always has a magical effect on me. It is crazy though. My mood only yesterday was deeply dark. It felt like I was a dead-end loser with no ability to get anywhere ever. Today I feel hopeful and happy and optimistic and excited. I think the thing is, in order to feel good about life, I only need tiny glimmers of new interest and excitement - just a hint that my day might go somewhere different to yesterday, or that something crazy and fun and exhilarating might happen. But if I have a day where not even the smallest thread appears, where not even the tiniest possibility of some step in a new direction arises, I feel trapped and bored and depressed. I need new stimulus and the potential for charting the unexplored, even if the actual exploring never eventuates. If there is not even the possibility, I feel dead. Anyway, today I could sense those possibilities floating on the breeze. And I went to a fun party - my friend Cathy's 35th - and had a good time with great people in a place I don't usually frequent. New possibilities you see. And fun times.

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