Saturday, September 11, 2010

Day 310: eternal youth.

I spent most of today kind of feeling bored and loserish. Bored because I have felt a little bit lately like I've given up on my dreams (music, New York, an amazing hot boy, an extraordinary life) and exchanged them for an acceptance of the same old shit, and loserish because I'm not the mega popular superstar I want to be, and because I currently feel completely unappreciated by the opposite sex. But then I went to a movie with my housemate Tanya (The Kids Are All Right starring Annette Bening, Julianne Moore and Mark Ruffalo) and my mood completely turned around. It was a really cool movie in itself, but it also reminded me of a few things. 1) Mark Ruffalo is really hot when he plays slightly rebellious guys. 2) Annette Bening is a total legend. 3) My life can be as magical and amazing as I want it to be. I am not restricted by other people's ideas of what is possible or is not. 4) I really think I should be living in the states (don't know why, it's just a strong feeling I have). 5) I have some fucking music to make. There's a weird feeling I've had lately, that I kind of need a second youth in which to get my shit together, reset my direction and get my life where it needs to go. It also occurred to me just a minute ago, that until I achieve something musically I will be stuck in the same first-phase pattern - kind of like being trapped in an eternal teenage mode, unable to grow up and progress until I perform my rock 'n' roll right of passage. Better get on with it then aye? Recording begins tomorrow.


  1. this is one of your classic despondency to revelation posts.
    It's time for a little less introspection and a little more action.
    don't forget to post your produce for applause and scrutiny.

  2. While movies often make people feel inspired about their life, it tends to be short lived and unfortunately if you spend time watching tv/movies chances are that you are not actually living life as the movie would suggest at all. A movie about someone watching a movie would suggest the protagonist was in fact wasting his or her life.

    A bit like people spending time watching masterchef thinking they know a lot about food instead of actually cooking a meal for their family.

  3. I have just set some goals for myself for the next 6 months. Perhaps it needs to put down on paper with action points?

    I have just signed up to Empower Magazine Online where you can set goals and action points. Already in the first week I have found that I have been getting a lot done!