Day 329: how does one get Mark Ronson to produce one's song?

I was listening to Mark Ronson's latest album Record Collection today, and it occurred to me that it would be kind of rad to have him produce one of my songs. Yeah, no dir dipshit, everyone in the music universe right now would be up for a bit of Ronson action on one of their tracks. But you know, in the spirit of not giving a shit about what other people think is impossible, I am going to investigate further exactly what one might do to get one's tunes in the ears of said Ronson. Whether he digs them or not is another matter entirely, but you just never know.

Day 328: bikini, espadrilles, silk dress, bubbles, bike.

As sometimes happens in the world of an advertising creative, I've had a bit of a quiet day today. And that tends to spell danger. Within the first 15 minutes of arriving at work I had spent over 300 british pounds on summer fashion. To be specific, on a bikini, a pair of espadrilles and a really cool silk dress. Oh, and a cardi. It's moments like these that stop me from ever achieving a fully clear credit card. But never mind. On other internet exploratory adventures, I also discovered a delectable sounding beverage called Pommac (thanks Kirsty). Apparently it's been around since 1919 (who knew? Quite a lot of people actually.), and it's a non-alcoholic, fizzy fruit drink aged in Champagne barrels. How delightful. Oh and where does the bike come in? Well I think in the spirit of randomness, I'll go for a bike ride this evening instead of sweating it out at yoga. Wheeeeeeee.

Day 327: happy about being healthy.

So Bill Clinton's gone vegan. Well well. People have a way of listening to ol' Bill, so maybe there's hope for the animal munching masses yet. A friend at work sent me this link this morning, and it refired my healthy eating engines. I have recently relaxed my militant veganism to include some dairy, some eggs and some fish. And while I don't think I'll go immediately back to the hyper vegan straight and narrow, I'll definitely try and keep my straying moments on the less frequent side. Because another thing I've noticed is that since getting back on the dairy etcet. my magic vegan skin has been unmagic-ed a bit by the odd zit. Whaa? Me not used to this. Not really looking forward to what the odd hit of alcohol might do on that front either. What I've been realising the last couple of days though, is that not drinking makes you feel great. Eating healthy vegan/vegetarian food also makes you feel great. And being a nice, healthy, happy human machine is the best ever. I am just so pleased that having been a person who truly believed they could not function for any real length of time without the help of booze, I have become a person who can. I have become a person who never ever has to weather the foulness that is waking up with a hangover. My experiences over the last few days of socialising completely happily without alcohol too, signal to me that I may have reached a new state of okay with this whole state of affairs. And when being healthy is making me feel so happy, why on earth would I stop now?

Day 326: I bought a bike.

Rash decision, yes. But so far I've found rash decisions tend to lead to good places (like a year in soberland). So yes, I am now the proud owner of a very pretty, white, hybrid road bike. And so far, I've felt really happy and confident riding it, and it's given me an awesome sense of freedom. You can go a lot further in less time on a bike than you can on foot. And now I can utilise some of the sparkling new bike lanes that have been sprouting up all over Sydney. Happiness, healthiness, freedom and toned thighs. Woot.

Day 325: cool-fun times.

I know I am the master of all mood swings, but today I felt really positive and excited about the world, the future, and my place in both. I started the day by having good chats with both of my flatmates over breakfast and coffee, and generally feeling the sunshine and mild air on my skin. Sunshine always has a magical effect on me. It is crazy though. My mood only yesterday was deeply dark. It felt like I was a dead-end loser with no ability to get anywhere ever. Today I feel hopeful and happy and optimistic and excited. I think the thing is, in order to feel good about life, I only need tiny glimmers of new interest and excitement - just a hint that my day might go somewhere different to yesterday, or that something crazy and fun and exhilarating might happen. But if I have a day where not even the smallest thread appears, where not even the tiniest possibility of some step in a new direction arises, I feel trapped and bored and depressed. I need new stimulus and the potential for charting the unexplored, even if the actual exploring never eventuates. If there is not even the possibility, I feel dead. Anyway, today I could sense those possibilities floating on the breeze. And I went to a fun party - my friend Cathy's 35th - and had a good time with great people in a place I don't usually frequent. New possibilities you see. And fun times.

Day 324: a drinking partner.

Today I really was in the worst mood. Not so much angry but super dead-ended. I just felt like there were no routes out of the boring day-to-day, like the realisation of all my dreams was a million impossible miles away. I get like this. By now you know. It's a weird thing because it happens really quite regularly. Anyway, I didn't feel like anything was going to get me out of the zero zone today, but in a very last-minute turn of events, something did. I was about to go to a special screening of Wall Street, Money Never Sleeps with my flatmate Tanya, when my mate Kristie called inviting me to dinner afterwards at a cool restaurant in a nice part of town. Apparently she and Marty (her partner) were meeting their friend Damien and needed a fourth person to make up the group. Cue me. So I went to the movie (it was fine) and then went to dinner. But guess what. It turned out that Damien was on his own little non-drinking mission and had been a sober warrior for six months. Was it a set up, or just a coincidence? Whatever it was, we all had a truly radical time. And it was a really nice feeling to be having a cool time not drinking, and to not be the only one on my planet. It was also really awesome to be getting on swimmingly with a cool, new boy, feeling entirely at ease and happy, completely unaided by alcohol. You see, it can be done. It's all about the calibre of your company.

Day 323: internet as escape route.

This is totally off topic, so forgive me, but I have just had a weird experience. I left my laptop at work tonight, so don't have internet access here at home (I'm writing this on paper, you're reading it later, more weirdness, whatever...). Having done various activities (singing practice, dinner making) and having discovered TV to be the debilitatingly boring void it so often is, I actually felt claustrophobic. Not in any medical sense, but psychologically I felt trapped in my own home because I couldn't get on the net and go exploring. I couldn't reach out to other worlds, immerse myself in other places, seek out new information. In fact I'm still sitting here feeling a little out of sorts because of it. Better occupy myself with something else. A book perhaps.

Day 322: there must be more than this.

Life really is pretty fine at the moment, and I'm really not miserable or sad. But I am feeling a tiny bit bored with the state of things. It also occurred to me that I spend a good chunk of my time (and draw a certain amount of my hope and contentment from) imagining my future, rather than really, truly engaging with the right now. It's like I see the life I'm living right now as a phase I need to tolerate and pass through before the real thing fires into action. This is a vaguely alarming realisation. Firstly, it kind of means I'm living in dreamland half the time. Secondly, it probably means that while I say things like "Life really is pretty fine at the moment" (pretty fine?! Don't get too excited now, you might burst a vein.) what I really feel is that my life is not at all where I want it to be. Now, out of this come some questions. 1. Am I being ungrateful for the wonderful things in my life by thinking there must be some better reality I could be living? 2 Do I have completely unrealistic expectations of what life should be like? 3. Or am I actually locked into a boring holding pattern that I desperately need to break out of? It's true that I have an awesome family that I wouldn't trade with anyone for anything ever. In that I am extremely lucky, and for that I am eternally grateful. I am also very grateful for my health, my freedom, my living conditions, surroundings, opportunities, abilities, fun times etc. But there is something missing. Maybe it's as simple as another person - a partner. Or maybe it's that I haven't yet realised my creative ambitions. It's like there's still a connection I need to make, a slotting into place that needs to happen, some breakthrough that makes life less of a surface scramble and more of a fulfilling experience. Oh, who knows? It just feels like there's got to be more to life than this.

Day 321: pining for NY.

I'm pathetic when it comes to New York city, I know. If I would just shut up and go there already, you wouldn't have to sit through my whining pinings. But I haven't gone there yet, so here's another one (sorry). I bought a book on the weekend by David Byrne (of Talking Heads) called Bicycle Diaries. It's about his explorations around the world and in his home town of New York on his bike, and the things that have occurred to him while pedaling. So far it's pretty cool. And it's got my little New York tap gushing all over again (my head's frickin flooded). I also just saw a video interview with a past Creative Director of mine who is just about to wing his way to NYC to take up a mega-job at an enormous agency. So jealous (sort of). Anyway, believe it or not, I actually took a tiny bit of action. I emailed that consultant exchange place I mentioned the other day. And whaddayaknow, their reply just popped into my inbox this minute. Better go read it aye.

Day 320: running around in the dark.

Tonight I did a group training session with some people from work. We did boxing, medicine ball stuff, resistance bands stuff and generally ran around. It was really quite fun and a good way to spend part of a Monday evening. It made me realise that I very often opt for solo options (like yoga and jogging) but that it's actually very enjoyable to get out and do stuff with people. No duh. Maybe it's these kinds of social activities I should have been focusing on this whole time, instead of just trying to have a good time in publand sans alcohol (and often failing). Oh well. I have 45 days (and actually the rest of my life) to engage in wholesome, alcohol-free, group activities that also tone my butt. Awesome.

Day 319: music advice.

My good friend Kristie's son Max turned one a couple of days ago, and today was his birthday party. It was an impressive achievement of a party, with heaps of kids, parents, a great spread of party food and drinks and these awesome animal balloons that had paper legs and actually looked like they were walking around (you probably had to be there). Anyway, among the guests were a gal I know and her friend, both of whom work in the music biz. And they gave me some advice that clarified the next focus of the action I need to take for my solo project. It was very helpful. So, on to the next thing.

Day 318: fun party, more plans for NY.

Today my sister Anna and brother-in-law Dean threw a burger and ribs party to celebrate my big brother Nic's birthday. It was really cool. Apart from my not being able to eat Dean's famous burger patties or ribs (which definitely looked delicious), everything was awesome (and anyway, I brought a vegie burger along so all was well). In fact the daytime party soon turned into a nighttime party and eventually rolled around to my big bro's house (but that's another story). I really like parties like these at Anna and Dean's because they have a relaxed and pleasant rambling quality. There's always one group of adults chatting on stools around the bench in the kitchen, another group lolling around on the big sofas in the living room, and kids scampering up and down the stairs and everywhere in between. It's a nice atmos. Anyway, on this occasion, being the chatters in the kitchen, we got to chatting about how I might get to New York. And not only did my sister-in-law Kate come up with a very clever idea (save up enough to go check it out for three months and talk to people while I'm there), I also remembered a contractor exchange programme I'd totally forgotten about. So good results all round, and a very enjoyable time, and now I need to sleep.

Day 317: sometimes all I want to do is dance.

Some days when I listen to certain songs I just wish that all that was required of me from this life was to find a space on a dance floor and dance. It would have to be in a club where only the fattest, most awesome tracks were played and where everyone pulled the coolest moves ever in their own free bubble of space, but yes, sometimes just to dance with like-minded individuals to radical music seems like the real reason I was put on the planet. Or maybe I have just defined a facet of my idea of heaven. Well there you go.

Oh, and while it's pretty old, here's my song of the moment. (Check out the Cut Copy remix for, in my opinion, a more satisfying treatment of the chorus.)

And here's another one I like. (She's a kiwi.)

That's all.

Day 316: we are powerless.

Tonight, after a very pleasant dinner (at a cool vego joint) with my friend Niccola (who is awesome by the way), I sat down and watched a bit of Inside The Actors' Studio. Tonight's episode featured Anthony Hopkins, and at the end he said an interesting thing. He told the acting students he was talking to, to let go and relax because none of us has any control over what happens to us (and what a relief that is). As I think I've mentioned before, most of the really good things that have happened in my life, have kind of happened magically and effortlessly. I've just been doing what I've been doing and the forces of nature (or whatever) have conspired or aligned in a way that fits perfectly and results in happy events. Forcing things hasn't tended to work. In fact, the more I've tried to force things, the less those things have gone the way I wanted. Maybe just relaxing and rolling with things actually opens you up a little more to the opportunities around you. If you're too busy focusing doggedly on one narrow path, you don't notice the flowering magnolia on the side of the road. Well at least that theory would sit nicely with my little scatterbrain disorder. Screw focusing on stuff. Scatter seeds all over the place and see things burst into life as they come into season. La la la la laaaaaa.

Day 315: planning a piss-up.

Over the past few days it has occurred to me that once I complete my 365 days, I should probably throw a bit of a party to celebrate. And it has also occurred to me that a lot of the people I know would quite like it if that celebration were to take the form of a massive piss-up. Now that's fine. A big party involving alcohol is something I don't mind being involved with. But the massive piss-up bit does pose a bit of a problem. Firstly, unaccustomed as my system now is to alcohol, I just don't think my poor little body will be able to hack a major onslaught of booze. Secondly, I simply am not inclined to subject myself to anywhere near such an onslaught. I have noticed recently a look come into the eyes of other drinking folk when they hear my sobriety is nearing its end. It's a kind of awe-filled, crazy possibilities look - like they are planning alcohol saturated afternoons designed to unleash my caged wild child once more. I have a feeling that every person who hears I'm about to be allowed back on the piss has their own little idea of what they might do with me, and that every little idea has something to do with obliteration. But I'm afraid I am now a changed girl. If nothing else whatsoever, what I have gained over the course of this exercise is an awareness of drinking and its effects (and of not drinking and its effects). It's a knowledge I can't unlearn. If I choose to obliterate myself with booze again, it will not be through complacent over-consumption, or just because everyone else wants me to. I now reserve the right to drink or not drink as I see fit. I also know that I am strong enough to exert that right. And from where I'm standing right now, getting absolutely hammered on alcohol just isn't an attractive option anymore. Loosening up and having a bit of fun, yes. But a major piss-up? No.

Day 314: limited thinking.

Today I read something annoying in the news. It said that 1.4 million Australians drink just to feel normal, either socially or mentally. But that wasn't the annoying bit. What was annoying were some of the comments from readers. While some readers shared the fact that they weren't drinkers, and some of the good reasons why, others were quick to respond with derogatory judgements of "part-pooper" and "buzz-killer" and accusations of sober people leading boring lives. I've commented on this before, but I am still very much of the opinion that if your life is boring without alcohol then the fact of the matter is you are, quite simply, leading a boring life. The alcohol so many people feel the need to imbibe so often isn't an interestingness elixir. It simply fuzzies the brain so you don't notice so acutely how boring your life actually is. Alcohol is a great relaxant and mood enhancer, but it doesn't magically make your life something it isn't. And frankly, if alcohol is all you're bringing to the table as your offering of entertainment or a good time, I'd rather dine alone.

Day 313: I wonder what Rueben's up to?

Today the boy I met in LA flitted through my mind. He was really cool. It's funny these people we encounter under weird circumstances, spend truly quality time with and then most likely never see again. Oh well, I hope he's having a good time all the way over there. Sorry, yes, randomness. Not the focused mind I'm meant to be exhibiting here. Oh yeah, I did contact my mate Ben to see if he can help me out with my recording issues. We'll see what he says. And I thought somewhat about my solo brand, imagined what my photos might look like and designed a jacket I might wear. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Day 312: more words.

Jamie commented the other day that a little less blah blah and a little more just do it might be in order where my music project is concerned. Point taken. But as my equipment was still in limbo-land today I had no option but to throw more words at the problem - lyrics again. Not the most satisfying of progressive steps but a necessary one nevertheless. I will try to do better tomorrow.

Day 311: more hiccups.

Today I actually sat down to record. And the box that does work on my computer over at Ben's house, doesn't work on my computer at mine. It might be a usb cable thing, it might be a driver thing. Whatever it is it's more of the same frickin recording crap I keep encountering. Doesn't matter. I laid down a drum track (didn't need the box for that), began investigating reasons why the box might not be working, and worked on the lyrics for the new song I want to record. It was a little bit of progress. I am trying not to feel discouraged again at this early stage. My conversations with other home-recording old schoolers have revealed that technical glitches are part of the territory. I will continue to persevere.

Day 310: eternal youth.

I spent most of today kind of feeling bored and loserish. Bored because I have felt a little bit lately like I've given up on my dreams (music, New York, an amazing hot boy, an extraordinary life) and exchanged them for an acceptance of the same old shit, and loserish because I'm not the mega popular superstar I want to be, and because I currently feel completely unappreciated by the opposite sex. But then I went to a movie with my housemate Tanya (The Kids Are All Right starring Annette Bening, Julianne Moore and Mark Ruffalo) and my mood completely turned around. It was a really cool movie in itself, but it also reminded me of a few things. 1) Mark Ruffalo is really hot when he plays slightly rebellious guys. 2) Annette Bening is a total legend. 3) My life can be as magical and amazing as I want it to be. I am not restricted by other people's ideas of what is possible or is not. 4) I really think I should be living in the states (don't know why, it's just a strong feeling I have). 5) I have some fucking music to make. There's a weird feeling I've had lately, that I kind of need a second youth in which to get my shit together, reset my direction and get my life where it needs to go. It also occurred to me just a minute ago, that until I achieve something musically I will be stuck in the same first-phase pattern - kind of like being trapped in an eternal teenage mode, unable to grow up and progress until I perform my rock 'n' roll right of passage. Better get on with it then aye? Recording begins tomorrow.

Day 309: when will I find my love?

A few days ago my big brother told me one of his friends, a boy called Andy, had met a girl and she had moved in with him. Andy is a beautiful boy, in every sense, so this is great news. He deserves it. Except that, unbeknownst to him, Andy was my secret fantasy back-up husband. As with most fantasies, this scenario probably wouldn't actually have worked in real life. But I liked having the thought that one day I might go back home to Christchurch, marry Andy and live happily every after. Now even the fantasy cannot be. This of course is me being really silly and does not actually represent a tragedy or a problem in any way. But when I reflect on my history of fizzled love affairs, and my disappointing efforts at online dating, and my current unrelenting singleness, it's hard not to wonder if there might be something deeply flawed about me. Am I just not an attractive girl? Do I live too much in fantasy land (cue fantasy back-up husband), not engaging enough with the realities of the world? Is there something obviously repellent about me that I'm just not seeing? Or am I just too sober and straight to reel anyone in? Could getting back on the piss actually be the first step to finding my love?

Day 308: funny boys.

At work I sit in a group of tables occupied by five boys. I'm sure our surrounding colleagues find our constant yabbering mildly infuriating, but of a working day we do have a hilarious time. All the boys are good at flipping funny bull around and we tend to spend a lot of time laughing. It makes work so much nicer. What I particularly like about my pod lads though, is their fine manners. They may be capable of dishing many a funny slight or taunt, but they would never disrespect the "lady" in their midst. They are fine examples of the kind of males the world needs more of. Boys, I applaud you.

Day 307: facing the music.

I'm guessing I might be the most frustrating person in the world to read about when it comes to achieving goals. I rant on about how much I want to do a thing, only to fill my life with every other activity I can that is not the thing. And then I come up with ideas for even more projects to add on top that are also not the thing. If it's frustrating to read, try living it. I think maybe as some way of processing the recent rejections and shut-downs I have stomached on the band front, I have turned away from my music. I have two remaining singing lessons that I keep postponing. I have fully functional recording equipment that I keep ignoring. And I have focused my creative energies on coming up with other extremely time-consuming projects to try and fool myself into thinking I might be okay with forgetting about music altogether. The truth is, I feel like I might not actually be able to do a music project on my own, but that if I want my true musical vision to come alive, alone is how I need to do it. Hmm. Time to stop being a whus. I have 58 days to make something happen.

Day 306: happy birthday to me.

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me-ee, happy birthday to me. It's my birthday. I just got back from a beautiful dinner at Toko with a selection of my friends and family. Those who couldn't make it were missed, but those who were there were quality. It was great. And I really did have a very enjoyable day. I guess at this point I just feel like a lucky human being and I am very grateful for all the good people and great opportunities in my life, for my good health and the freedom I have to do what I wish. I am very happy. And I am very healthy. Oh yeah, and I didn't feel the slightest flutter of a desire for an alcoholic drink. My mocktail (on their extensive list of "cleansers") was quite specially delicious (it had Jasmine in it), and my green tea was oh so refreshing. Good friends, great food, (an awesome book on the Velvet Underground!) and hot green tea. What more could a girl want?

Day 305: yellow-haired warrior.

Being as much of a Tarantino devotee as I am, you'd think I would have seen Kill Bill by now. Well I have. I watched it last night with my flatmate Tanya. And it made me love Tarantino all the more. He has such a brilliantly unadulterated approach to his subject and genre. He sets those two things and then goes mental in the purity of his drive to do them justice. Whatever his movies are about, they are all about; pure, simple, and fucking wickedly executed. Anyway, in Kill Bill, Uma's character is referred to as the yellow-haired warrior at one point. I liked that. It was inspiring. She is so freakin' hot and hardcore and kick-arse and single-minded and unrelenting (and yet with a forgotten softness somewhere behind her eyes) in that movie. It made me feel strong in my resolve and happy to be fighting my own little yellow-haired warrior battle (although I pride myself on keeping my hair rather more white blonde than yellow). So yeah alcohol, you can send as many kung fu fighters as you like to challenge me. You don't stand a chance.

Day 304: earthquake!

This morning I was woken at 7.45am by my little brother. As he is a firm Friday night drinker, hearing from him at this kind of time on a Saturday is not just a pleasant surprise, it also usually means something's up. This was the news. At 4.30am this morning New Zealand time, a massive earthquake (7.1 on the richter scale) shook our home town of Christchurch. So far there were no fatalities but the fronts of buildings had fallen off, huge cracks had formed in roads, sewerage pipes had burst (yuck!) and the water and power was off. Naturally all of us kids were extremely concerned for the safety of our Dad, living as he does on a farm pretty much at the epicentre of the seismic action. He is fine. After many a failed phone call, we managed to get through, and discovered the main damage at the farm was crockery, book shelves toppling and two chimneys reduced to piles of bricks. Dad was shaken (literally!) but safe, and in the very good company of his good friend Jacqui. Our grandparents (both in their 90s), aunties and uncles were fine too, and the cats had appeared but were keeping to the paddocks. Funnily enough while I was watching a news report on the whole thing, one of the shots they showed was a supermarket isle full of smashed wine bottles. Tragic stuff that, wasting all that wine.

Day 303: admitting defeat.

Last night a large team of people from work, including myself, worked long and late to produce a mountain of pitch work. Then today, when it was all safely delivered, a group of us went to the pub. Now don't be alarmed by today's entry title. I certainly didn't drink. But being around everyone as they slipped speedily down the sloppy slide to sozzled, brought up a few things for me (and no I'm not talking about my lunch). It's no secret that over the last little while I've been tiring of being Miss Straight and Sober, and looking forward somewhat to returning to the ways of the drinking masses. But therein lies the problem I now find front of mind. The masses. I don't know if it's my stupid "third child" wanting to stand out excuse coming to the fore again, but I have an issue with just going back to what everyone else does if it's only because everyone else does it. Lately, I have definitely been feeling some of the lonely side of sobriety. I have been toughing out the singling out that seems to come with the territory, and it has made me want to be more in an accepted zone again. But I take issue with returning to an accepted zone if it is only for the reason that it is accepted. I don't mind returning to an old habit if I find the old habit is better than the new one. But just returning to it because everyone else does it? It just feels like in a way I have clambered out of a hole by not drinking. It feels like I have made a certain amount of progress in myself. But it seems that in order to have a really good time socially and be included by my peers, I am required to crawl back into the hole. I have said there are things I like about the effects of alcohol. A little looseness here and there is fun and most definitely a good thing. But there's something that kind of depresses me about how much everyone is hanging out for me to get back on the booze. I get really turned off by people who are closed to new ideas or possibilities. When people refuse to even allow themselves to think something is possible, or shut down other people when they suggest something a little bit out of the ordinary or a little bit hard, they kill the possibility simply with their limited thinking. A lot of people can't even begin to fathom that not drinking might a) be an option at all and b) actually be a better option than what they're doing now. Their behaviour and thinking is so entrenched that it becomes a concrete wall. And if people are thinking that way, it kind of doesn't even matter if I've discovered a beautiful Utopia on the other side of the concrete. They don't believe it exists, so they won't come and see it with me. And how good can a Utopia really be when you're in it all alone? So do you see my problem? I almost feel as if I will return to drinking, not because it's bad being alcohol free, but because it's lonely. It's like getting out of jail and going straight back to bank robbing, just because the only friends you have are robbing banks. It feels somehow like defeat. But if being alone or admitting defeat were your only options, which way would you go?

Day 302: I might write a movie.

At the risk of sounding like an A.D.D. suffering creative flake, I think I want to write a screenplay. Please bear with me. Before I studied advertising, I did half of an MA in screenwriting for film and tv. I didn't finish it because, being 22 or something at the time, I didn't have a story to tell worthy of 128 pages. And 128 pages (or thereabouts) of screenplay was what I had to write in place of a thesis. Now I reckon I might have a tale or two to tell. And what about writing the soundtrack as well? Why the hell not. Or is this just me losing the frickin plot? Giving myself another creative distraction so I have something to blame the failure of my other creative pursuits on? Maybe it is. Or maybe I just feel like writing a movie.

Day 301: Spring is sprung.

It is a beautifully warm evening. When I stepped out into it after a crazy bejesus day at work, I felt instantly soothed by its soft air. And I felt excited too. How perfect of Spring to welcome us all with a pretty breath of the warmer days to come. She could have refused to arrive on time. She could have stayed in bed and let us grumble and freeze a little longer. But she didn't. Spring is my season, the one into which I was born, and I always feel a certain aligning of ducks, or planets or something around this time. It's like my cogs finally click together and things start working again. So yes, I feel lovely, calm and happy today, regardless of the chaos clambering noisily around me. And I may have had another idea. A frickin cool one. I know, I know. I should probably try to stop having new ideas and work more on making some of the old ones actually happen. But it's the first day of Spring. New ideas are bound to start bouncing. I think I'll let this one bounce about a bit more though, before I bore you with the details. Meanwhile I suggest you enjoy this lovely weather.