Day 216: how many humps?

Remember a couple of weeks ago, when I said no more fucking around on the music front? Well, I haven't been fucking around. I've been taking positive action to get something new happening, doing my singing practice, writing new songs, playing my bass. Then I got sick and had to stop singing for a while. And then I got stopped in my tracks by a mic recording issue that is probably tiny but that I cannot seem to solve. This hasn't deterred me, and I have made arrangements for Ben to come and have a look at what I'm doing (he knows more about these things than me), but it has caused me to wonder, just how many frickin humps must I get over before I get anywhere musically? As you know, I have been on the band and music road for a long time now in various guises. Some phases have worked more easily than others. Along the way there have been some tantalisingly close brushes with real success. But the situation I'm in right now is that I am flying decidedly solo and finding it freaking hard to drag my sack of tunes up the mountainside. Recently Ben, my former drummer, stepped into a fully formed, oft playing band poised for international touring and success. That's the kind of ease I'm talking about. That's how things that are meant to happen happen right? Or maybe they never happen that way, and Ben has just received a perfectly packaged miracle in the post. I don't know. What I do know is that his lucky turn has left me short of a drummer. I don't feel any resentment about it, it's just a practicality that needs looking at. One small consolation is that my voice seems to be getting better. I'm finding new places in it I didn't have before. Notes are coming out stronger and clearer at least in some areas of my range, and this is all good. My latest thought (like I literally had it about an hour and a half ago) is that I need to start a new band. I don't know if Ben will have time to be in two bands (judging by his current schedule) so this means I might have to start a band with entirely new people. You want humps? That's a whole heap right there. Psychological ones, practical ones, musical ones, financial ones. I just feel like I've put so much of my life into music and bands that I cannot walk away until I have produced something decent. I would like things to be easier than they are right now, but there's something in me that just refuses to give up until I get this thing across the line. I just wish there was a little less thinking and lamenting going on, and a little more actually happening. Oh well, if I'm going to get anywhere, there's nothing else to do but take it one hump at a time.