Today I got told I was boring for not drinking. Now let me think about that. To me boring is the same thing as yesterday. It’s learning something you already know. It’s doing what everyone else does because it’s safe, and doing it over and over again. So to me, drinking is boring, not the other way around. Because everyone is fucking drinking. Mainly, as far as I can tell (and from my own repeated experience), to take the edge off and blot out the stressful day that was/the hated job/the coming week/the situation that doesn’t have an answer. Or to manufacture the joie de vivre, confidence and witty spontaneity that makes people interesting; “the life of the party”. I’ve got nothing against taking the edge off. We all need to relax. And if you’re one of the many pleasant people who can happily enjoy a glass without getting stupid then I applaud your social grace. But can I also suggest: if you’re not funny and interesting in the first place, alcohol is not going to make you so. Of course, it might make you more entertaining. When my flatmate came in obliterated on Friday night there was definitely a good five minutes when his swaying and slurry singing was genuinely worth being around to see. And people bumping into things is always comical. But the fact remains, if I’m boring sober, once I’m done hilariously jumbling my sentences and falling over, I’m boring drunk. And if I’ve got problems or a dumb job or something that’s doing my head in, getting shit-faced isn’t going to make any of it go away. It’s just going to result in the boring-est thing of all: another hangover, and the same pile of life-crap that was sitting there yesterday. So in answer to my accuser: sir, I beg to differ. Today I wrote a new chorus to a song, I began the lyrics to the verses, I discussed concepts for music videos with my fellow band member, and made plans to record some vocals tomorrow. I watched rugby with my brothers, saw all my nieces and nephews, played with a kitten, cooked dinner and had time to go for an evening stroll. I was not bored for a moment. And as I have done things today to move my music project forward, I will not wake up tomorrow feeling like my life hasn’t moved an inch. One other thing, so far since not drinking, my dreams have been off the hook. Even my sleep is more entertaining without booze! Go figure.