Day 14: reality check.

On my run the other day I was talking to my brother about this whole non-drinking thing, and we realised something. When you don't drink or "medicate" in any way, you come up against the unavoidable reality of things. We called it "living the test of the real". What I mean by that can be illustrated by my brother's example. He asked me what I would do if I met a really hot boy and had to go on a date with him. Obviously, there was only one answer: I would go on the date and not drink. But wow, what an interesting little exercise that would be. Because without alcohol, there would be no giggle elixir to make his jokes seem funnier, or hotness goggles to make him seem prettier, or general relaxant to make me seem like a fun, easygoing girl. For me at least, it would be a test of the real: was he (or me) really funny, was he cool, did he really turn me on? Did we work conversationally? If it wasn't happening, it would be terribly clear. But then, is that really such a bad thing? I've noticed it in other situations too. On the dance floor for example, it's perfectly possible to dance unaided by stimulants (or depressants in the case of booze), providing the music is good. The instant the music starts to suck, my easy flow of (killer) moves starts to splutter. If I was pissed, I could probably sway my way through the crap bits. Yeah swaying. Cool. Conversation and parties are the same. If they're really good, everyone involved will have a good time, drinks or none. If they're actually a bit stupid, the sober person will notice immediately. It's like when you don't drink, you become hyper-aware of what's really going on. The bottle delivers a smudge and fuzz that obscures bits of boringness, or things that aren't quite up to scratch. Or put another way, alcohol doesn't just relax your mood, it also relaxes your standards. Being a Virgo I probably didn't need my standards sharpened any. And living in the starkness that is untempered reality isn't necessarily easy. But it's what I'm dealing with for the next little while, so I'd better get used to it. I guess I'll just have to make sure I only go to awesome parties, listen to frickin cool tunes, and talk to people who've got it going on. Sounds like torture.